CINDERELLA’S TOP 12 INSULTS

Oh woe is me. I did it again.

Groucho Marx (Photo credit: keoshi)

What did I do?

I thought of the perfect reply when it was too late. Too late to deliver the punch. Too late to recover from the oh-so-unsubtle sting. Too late to recover my dignity.

So I’ve decided to make a list of comebacks ( insults if you’re that way inclined ) as a reference for myself and other “too nice for our own good” people out there.

HERE GOES.

CINDERELLA’S GUIDE TO INSULTS

“”Why don’t you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?”
Groucho Marx

“”What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.”
Liberace

“”Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.”
William Dean Howells

“”I’ll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork.”
Irving Brecher

“If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?”
Charles Pierce

“In her single person she managed to produce the effect of a majority.”
Ellen Glascow

“”I can’t believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.”
Steven Pearl

“You’re a mouse studying to be a rat.”
Wilson Mizner

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”
George Bernard Shaw

“She’s got such a narrow mind, when she walks fast her earrings bang together.”
John Cantu

“End of season sale at the cerebral department.”
Gareth Blackstock

“You are simply a shiver, looking for a spine to run up”

Paul Keating

THERE. I FEEL BETTER NOW.

DON’T YOU?

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