WHAT TO DO WHEN HOUSTON LIFTS OFF
I hate to admit it, but the first thought that went through my
mind when the gynae exclaimed : ” It’s a BOY ! ” , was :
“OMW. I AM GOING TO HAVE A CHILD WITH A
WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH A BABY – WILLY ???
HOW DO YOU PUT A NAPPY ON IT WITHOUT DOING LIFELONG DAMAGE ??
DO YOU BEND IT UPWARDS, DOWNWARDS, SIDEWAYS ??
WILL ALL THIS BENDING RESULT IN FUTURE DISFUNCTION OF SAID WILLY ?
AND, HEAVEN FORBID, WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH IT IF
IT …..WELL………RISES ??????
I am the eldest girl in an Afrikaans family of four girls. Growing
up, there was never a willy in sight. Willies ( ? ) were NOT SPOKEN
ABOUT. We went to Sunday school.
We did not like boys. Never mind
what was lurking inside their boxer shorts. Upon turning 12 , I was
given THAT book. You know, the one that says : ” WHAT EVERY GIRL
SHOULD KNOW “………..
This book had pictures. AND I REALLY, REALLY DID
NOT WANT TO KNOW. Those pictures were downright UGLY.
I wanted nothing to do with the matter.
But life happened as it tends to do, and things……..well, came
up…….and I ended up marrying and having a child and he happens to
have a willy.
SO WHAT HAVE I LEARNED ABOUT WILLIES ?
– I have learned that you turn them DOWNWARDS
in a nappy , because if you don’t you will re – dress your soaked
baby five times a night like I did before someone ( @@##&*&*&*&!!!
) told me.
– When your son discovers the delights of his having a willy ( it
happens sooner than you thought possible ) , you DO NOT MAKE A FUSS
AND YOU DO NOT LOOK SHOCKED. You smile sweetly and say
…….actually I don’t know ( yet ) what you say, but you make sure
to look like you are absolutely sharing in his joy………
– Upon the occurence of Willy rising while changing your boys’
nappy, you’d better move faster than lightning in order to cover
things up………..a wee is on it’s way and it doesn’t care what
– An ” up- risen ” willy can be covered with a nappy. It
will not break. There isn’t a bone in there.