CINDERELLA TRIPPIN'

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WHAT TO DO WHEN HOUSTON LIFTS OFF


I hate to admit it, but the first thought that went through my
mind when the gynae exclaimed : ” It’s a BOY ! ” , was :

“OMW. I AM GOING TO HAVE A CHILD WITH A
WILLY….”

WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH A BABY – WILLY ???

HOW DO YOU PUT A NAPPY ON IT WITHOUT DOING LIFELONG DAMAGE ??

DO YOU BEND IT UPWARDS, DOWNWARDS, SIDEWAYS ??

WILL ALL THIS BENDING RESULT IN FUTURE DISFUNCTION OF SAID WILLY ?

AND, HEAVEN FORBID, WHAT DOES ONE DO WITH IT IF
IT …..WELL………RISES ??????

I am the eldest girl in an Afrikaans family of four girls. Growing
up, there was never a willy in sight. Willies ( ? ) were NOT SPOKEN
ABOUT. We went to Sunday school.

NG Church in Joubertina, Eastern Cape, South A...

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We did not like boys. Never mind
what was lurking inside their boxer shorts. Upon turning 12 , I was
given THAT book. You know, the one that says : ” WHAT EVERY GIRL
SHOULD KNOW “………..

 

This book had pictures. AND I REALLY, REALLY DID
NOT WANT TO KNOW. Those pictures were downright UGLY.

I wanted nothing to do with the matter.

But life happened as it tends to do, and things……..well, came
up…….and I ended up marrying and having a child and he happens to
have a willy.

SO WHAT HAVE I LEARNED ABOUT WILLIES ?

– I have learned that you turn them DOWNWARDS
in a nappy , because if you don’t you will re – dress your soaked
baby five times a night like I did before someone ( @@##&*&*&*&!!!
) told me.

– When your son discovers the delights of his having a willy ( it
happens sooner than you thought possible ) , you DO NOT MAKE A FUSS
AND YOU DO NOT LOOK SHOCKED. You smile sweetly and say
…….actually I don’t know ( yet ) what you say, but you make sure
to look like you are absolutely sharing in his joy………

– Upon the occurence of Willy rising while changing your boys’
nappy, you’d better move faster than lightning in order to cover
things up………..a wee is on it’s way and it doesn’t care what
you’re wearing.

– An ” up- risen ” willy can be covered with a nappy. It
will not break. There isn’t a bone in there.

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4 thoughts on “WHAT TO DO WHEN HOUSTON LIFTS OFF

  1. Pingback: a blog award – cause i’m cool like that « cupcakemummy and fish

  2. I am from a family of girls too and while I was not totally sheltered as a teenager and had my fair share of ‘hands on’ learning😉 I also panicked when I was told I was having a boy.
    What do you do with boys?
    How do you clean all that poo from the willy and surrounding equipment.
    What do boys play with?
    Boys are rough and will not want to cuddle
    these and a thousand other questions ran through my mind. Now 4 years and 2 boys later like you I discovered that they are not scary but yes point the willy down and I don’t think we will ever really understand how much they like playing with said willy

  3. Hahaha! Too funny…before I knew if mine was going to be a he/she I went round to friends who i though had the situation under control to observe them in their natural habitats.

    I actually heard about this tucking down business but ended up not needing it. One day i was relaying the story (and instructions) to another friend, who looked absolutely dumbstruck. she’s been doing her 8 month old son’s nappy the wrong way and was cursing the amount of laundry – no leaks again after that.😆 I even got chocolates for that!

  4. Hehe. Baby-willies are not as scary as I once thought. although I am glad my 2nd child is a girl🙂

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