I’m not sure I know what to do with you yet. I’ve been eyeing you out for 4 days now and nothing spectacular has happened so far.
I’ve lost no weight, I’ve had no fabulously spunky creative ideas and no one has offered me a job I actually want to get out of bed for.
What’s up with that?
I suspect that you need some reminders of what I want from you.
So here goes:
1. I need the ability to change my thoughts. An example of my cognitive errors in 2011 :
“If I just finish all the chocolate now it won’t be there every day to trip up my weight loss efforts and then I’ll lose weight.”
2. I need the ability to stay calm when I’m expected to cook a dish that has JUST ONE seed of some weird vegetable plant as an ingredient. That only grows in South Asia. Or New Delhi. Or some such place. And can only be found at a cafe on the other side of town.
Yes. Christmas lunch 2011 at the in-laws. Where everybody had to make one PRESCRIBED dish. With ingredients I had never even heard of. So I made three bean salad. Three types of beans out of three cans. I wasn’t popular.
3. I need the ability to tolerate human behaviour. Human me and human others. But mostly human others. Male human others. OK. My husband. On his intolerant days. It’s complicated. But I’m sure you get it.
4. I need the ability to stay calm on Sunday afternoons. When it has rained all day and my son is climbing the curtains.
5. I need patience . For when my divorced sister-in-law comes to visit for entire weekends. With her dog. And her endless “titbits of advice for life”. Which clearly didn’t work for her. As she’s now divorced. Which is something I’d love to point out to her. But won’t.
6.I need new opportunities. Inspiration. The broadening of my horizons. MONEY, OK? For doing something I love. Painting, eating, writing. Pick one. Or all. Ok, if it has to be just one, please pick writing.
Come to think of it, if you could just do nr 6, I’d be more than happy.
( I’ve just had a piece of Christmas cake. Because there’s still cake and Christmas is long gone. It’s not right to still have Christmas cake in the fridge on the 5 th of January. So I ate it. It doesn’t count, right? Refer back to point nr 1 . )