MARRIAGE IN A TIME OF CHILDREN
In my book, “quick” is good. Mostly. In the case of take away food, service and root canals. NOT so much in marriage.
“Quick” in marriage becomes the norm when “before children” becomes “one child” and even more so when one child becomes “two children”.
Take your average Sunday at home.
We usually wake up with the best of intentions to have “a relaxed family day”.
We manage to get the house in some kind of order before heading out for lunch at the local. So far so good.
After lunch, we each get a turn to look after the kids while the other one gets a 30 minute nap.
At around 17h00 on a Sunday afternoon the kids are tired, it’s bath time, it’s “get-out-of-the-bath-NOW-or-else time”, it’s the time when every single toy my son owns covers the diningroom carpet and he is whining his heart out over anything and everything.
It’s also most likely to be the time when his father has had enough of giving warnings and resorts to some disciplinary action.
All well and fair. But still. Not ideal as foreplay.
Then we get to the time of refusing to go to sleep. BOTH children.
When all goes quiet at around 21h00 the last thing I’m in the mood for is getting all loved up.
I’m tired, I’m grumpy, I feel like a parental failure of note. Yet another exhausting Sunday behind me.
I take a bath. Practice some deep breathing.
Check both kids.
Yip. Still asleep.
I close my eyes and try to get “in the mood”
Son-who-is-supposed-to-be-in-dreamland from his room.
“Daddy” gets decent and goes to check.
OK. Let’s try again.
I close my eyes.
“Daddy” gets decent again and goes to check.
OK. LET’S TRY AGAIN.
“Daddy” gets decent, goes to check, comes back, gets undecent and ……..
And this is where “quick” comes in.
“Daddy” gets “quick” and mommy gets a raw deal.
Marriage in a time of 2 kids under the age of 5.
Like I said.