CINDERELLA TRIPPIN'

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Archive for the tag “christmas”

Going On Holiday With Little People : Your Best Ever Accommodation and Sanity Guide


When my son was about 2 years old we took him on a beach holiday. I spent the entire holiday screeching “Get down from the ledge!  Get out of the fountain! Leave the cat alone! Do not touch the Royal Albert! ”

This is when I realised that there should be a  “small children hazard potential ” grading system for holiday accommodation.

DGT : DON’T GO THERE :

This type of accommodation is located on a hill and thus has hundreds of steps taking you to ground level. The moment you step outside you have to cling to flimsy railings in order to not fall to your death before you can leave for the beach.

THIS IS A DGT. For obvious reasons.

 

Then there’s the PHG : PARENTAL HYSTERICS GUARANTEED :

This is the type of place where the patio/barbeque area is a hazard.  Think “water feature”.  A soothing fountain of running water/ swimming pool  is exactly where your toddler will go every time you open the patio door . To get wet from head to toe.  After being bathed and dressed for the night in his cute, clean  pajamas.

This is a PHG. Drowning/ getting soaked potential. Every second of every day for your entire stay.

 

Then we get to the hired accommodation belonging to a sweet old lady with a love of Royal Albert tea sets and other delicate old lady ornaments. With pictures of the Queen and so.  Displayed on every flat surface.

This type of accommodation should be graded RAA. Royal Albert Alert.

Here is an example of a RAA. Sense the Royal Albert?

 

Lastly we have the HFP. Heavy Falling Potential . Think balconies. Think cliffhangers. Think I-do-not-want-to-stay-here-even-if-you-pay-me.

Example of a HFP.

 

 

What you want is a SFT : SAFE FOR TODDLERS grading.

No Royal Albert.  No hills . No slopes. No stairs.No ledges. No water feature.  Flat extended grass area. In fact , HUGE piece of lawn for running/ riding/rolling around on while parents take in the view. Wine glass in hand.

This is IT. Your perfect SFT holiday home.

And there you have it.

Simple really.

( ps. If anyone had shown me this post Before Children it would have struck me as a tad paranoid-obsessive. Now it just strikes me as logical. Parenting toddlers tends to do that to a person.)

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IT’S NOBODY’S BIRTHDAY BUT MINE


My son once stood up on a bench in church and asked : “So where IS Jesus?”  Loudly.  He was around 2 years old at the time. The service wasn’t quite the same after that…

Now that he’s almost 4,  he’s still not buying anything remotely church related.

In preparation for Christmas :

“You know what Christmas is really about, right? We’re celebrating the birthday of Jesus? ”

“No….it’s MY birthday. I’m getting a present. You said I’m getting a present! ”

“Yes, you’re getting a present. But it’s really the birthday of Jesus. And we’re happy and thankful that He came down to earth and that He loves us and watches over us.”

“NO. IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! I’m getting a present! It’s there by the tree!”

“Yes, it is.  But you know that Jesus loves us, right ? And that He made everything? The trees and the flowers and the grass and the sun…..”

Silence.

Looking at the trees and the flowers and the grass and the sun with deep concentration.

“So, who made everything? ” Thinking that the penny has dropped.

“DADDY! ”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DEAR SANTA …50 THINGS I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS


1. Full body spray tan.
2. French pedicure.
3.French manicure.
4. “Freeze” wrinkle erasing face treatment.
66ème Festival de Venise (Mostra) Tom Ford

Image via Wikipedia

5. Tom Ford sunglasses.
6. Paco Rabanne “Lady Million” fragrance.

Dress by Paco Rabanne, 1967. Worn by baroness ...

Image via Wikipedia

7. Crabtree &Evelyn anything.

8. Evia beach lounger.

9. Logitech cordless mouse in pink, please.

10.Earth Addict anything.

11. Jo Malone : ANYTHING

12. Moet & Chandon Golden Glass gift set.

13. Estee Lauder Pleasures Bloom.

14. Clinique Repairwear Laser Focus wrinkle corrector.

15. Clarins Vital Light Day / Night.

16. To have my wedding/engagement rings reset with some extra diamonds added.(!!)

17. Douwe Egbertscoffee  ( a years’ supply )

Coffee Cup

Image via Wikipedia

18.Elemis Safari Traveller for Women.

19. Swarovski Crystal flower. Make that 2.

20.Dior Eyeshadow Palette. Violet.

21. Silwer slip-ons.

22. Gold slip-ons.

23. Fitflops in any colour. 2 pairs.

24. Nine West heels.

25. Clarins Body Treatment Oil.

26. Anything for cellulite . Enough of it to last the year.

27. Charlotte Rhys Body Butter.

28. Osis Flexwax Texture for hair.

29. Redken Matte Sponge 05 Rugged Texturizer.

30. Purple Wristwatch by Chopard . The one with diamonds around the face.

31. White Blackberry. ( I’m behind like that.)

32. WII complete Home Fitness System.

33. Mini trampoline.

34. Plastic splashpool. ( big enough for me plus 1 child to get into.)

35. Mellerware Arezzo Coffee Machine.

36. Lawn Lounge Chair X 2 .

37. Crabtree and Evelyn Noel/ Windsor Forest room fragrance.

38. Sissy Boy Sandals @ Cosmo Footwear. ( bronze )

39. DKNY Golden Delicious….

40. Out Of The Blue clothing ( lots of it……..)

41. A miracle working swimsuit.

42. Miracle working control pants.

43. Miracle waist trimmer support band.

44. The smell of cinnamon….

45. L’oreal Paris Orange Fever lipstick

46. DIOR ……….anything……..

47. Peace amongst familymembers who normally want to pull each others’ tonsils out……

48. Love  amongst  familymembers who normally want to pull each others’ tonsils out……..

49. Goodwill amongst familymembers who normally want to pull each others’ tonsils out………

50. NAH. Stuff the peace,love and goodwill. GIMME SOME MORE TOM FORD.

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