CINDERELLA TRIPPIN'

….let there be shopping….

Archive for the tag “fear of flying”

Be Afraid. Be very afraid. ( But you can take our cushion )


( This post contains scenes and descriptions of a worrying nature. Do not read if you’ll be flying anywhere soon.)

Seen on Facebook :

There is good news this morning: Your Essential Travel Info airplane seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments – thanks Essential Travel Info team.”

Well, yes. Thank you an’ all. Will remember to take that free cushion…

 

I’m not a happy flyer.

And I don’t fly without at least three glasses of white swirling through my blood.

Without it I would not set foot on an aeroplane.

I don’t trust them. I don’t trust them during take-off and I don’t trust them in the air. And I don’t trust their ability to slow down to a standstill after landing so that I can get the hell out of there.

 

Over the years I have avoided flying wherever and whenever possible.

I’d rather sit in a Greyhound bus for 14 hours than sit in a 747  for 1 1/2 hours to get to the same destination.

I’ve been told that it’s because I’m a control freak. And that in order for me to feel safer in the air all I need to do is push my feet firmly into the aeroplane floor during turbulence.

( No. It doesn’t work. What works is alcohol. )

And saying Psalm 23 17 times over and over until we reach “flight height” and that little “ping” comes on to tell us we can now unfasten our seatbelts. ( And the drinks trolley is ready to come out. For more white. )

That’s another thing. I get the purpose of seatbelts in stopping a body propelling forward. But how is the seatbelt going to help me in the case of a body falling downward?

Ah. Yes.

That’s where the flotation cushion comes in….

 

 

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