7 DAYS BEFORE DROP OFF
1. THE LUNCHBOX
Assertive-yet-laid-back look ( green plastic ) . Check.
Child able to unzip backpack to get to lunchbox. Check.
Child able to get lunchbox out of backpack. Check.
Child able to open lunchbox. Check.
Child able to look pleased with contents of lunchbox confirming good parenting. Unknown. DAMN.
2. THE OUTFIT ( CHILD )
Easy pull- off pull- on underpants slightly too big so that child does not walk around school showing willy after going to the loo indicating bad BAD parenting. Check.
Neutrally cool looking pants. Check.
Good-for-growing-feet-shoes indicating good parents with a good enough mutual gross income. Check.
3. THE OUTFIT ( MOTHER-DROPPER-OFFER )
Not yet confirmed.
4. SUDDEN UNSTOPPABLE SCRUTINIZING OF CHILD AND HIS MANNERS/LACK THEREOF
24 HOURS BEFORE DROP OFF
1. OUTFIT ( MOTHER-DROPPER-OFFER )
Control underpants. Check.
Purple cowlneck top indicating dignity and style. Check.
Black bootleg pants because was there ever any other working style? Check.
Earrings bought at Art shop indicating individuality and creative talent. Check.
Sunglasses indicating adequate gross income. Check.
2 rolls of toiletpaper. Check.
2 bars of soap. Check.
1 ream of drawing paper. Check.
1 bottle of washing up liquid. Check.
1 box of tissues. Check.
1 whiteboard marker. Check.
Immunization card, birth certificate, marriage certificate, ID. Check.
10 MINUTES BEFORE DROP OFF
Panicky all -over checking of child/backpack/lunchbox/outfit/supplies. Check.
Panicky last minute attempt at installing valuable life skills. Check.
Panicky attempt at not looking panicky. Check.
SMILE and WAVE.
SWEAR UNDER BREATH.