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Archive for the tag “Pregnancy”

MOTHERHOOD, Year 5 ( Truth or Dare)

I’ve been playing a game with my blog called “Now You See Her, Now You Don’t”. On the one hand it’s because our lives have settled like a cat on a comfy couch and on the other I feel as if I said all I wanted to say   about babyhood  with farmerboy!

Life in farmland has been toddling along comfortably with no major upheavals worth spreading the word about. Mostly.

As compulsively as I blogged about life with baby nr 1( more or less daily from when he was 19 months old till about the age of 3), so I find myself 17 months into the life of his sister not really convinced that a repeat of  solids issues/discipline issues/nappy contents issues/sleep issues/a lack of use of ears issues” is warranted.

Also, baby nr 2 has been infinitely easier right from the start. She eats, she poops, she sleeps, she giggles, she’s into hugs and kisses just like her mother. YAY!

She even kisses and hugs without me asking her first. DOUBLE YAY!!

So this “flash-in-the-pan” post is an attempt to put into words what 5 years of being a mother has been like. The truth and nothing but the truth so help me and so on. Just so that my subconscious and I can get on the same page again.


1. Farmerboy puzzles me. As he grows older he puzzles me more and more. ( he’s turning 5 on Thursday). I can never quite predict or fulfill his needs. It’s a scary place to be.

2. He is emotional to the extreme. Extreme happiness, extreme anger, extreme frustration, extreme sadness, extreme empathy. I’ve been told that he takes after me. (!) Which I denied of course. Vehemently, unequivocally and completely.

3. Babygirl and me “clicked” from the word go. I understand every single sound or gesture she makes instinctively and the 2 of us love just chilling together.

4. I love both my children. But I don’t connect with them equally.


1. I read glowing blog after glowing mommy blog after positive Facebook update after cute Twitter twitterings about the glories of motherhood. And then I think “But that’s not what it’s like, people! Get real and smell the Spur Burger for vreks sake!”

2. Sometimes I can’t wait to get a break from my own children. Sometimes I have to restrain myself from kissing the nanny when she arrives at 8h00 in the morning.

3. I feel guilty every single day of my life.

4. Sometimes when a glowing friend or celebrity or royal person declares “I’m pregnant!” I think “Hah! Just you wait Kate and Wills, just you wait!!” instead of “Oeee, congratulations! ” ( but then nannies are a given for them, aren’t they?)



That’s me for today. And tomorrow. And the day after that.

Until my children pay for my trip to Greece using their own money.

Right up until that day.

Shoot me.







Dear Sis


Kiddin’. ( Sort of…)

Plus of course you can’t run anywhere at 38 weeks pregnant. You can barely waddle to the loo, let alone flee for the hills.

Jokes aside, I’ve been thinking about what I should say to you before Daniel Nicholas arrives. Mostly it’s stuff  I wish someone had said to me before I stepped onto PLANET PARENTING. Never to return again to PLANET ME. EVER. NEVER-EVER-EVER-EVER.

And step onto a different planet you will do, dear sis.

It’ll be a strange land. With strange, ever changing rules. Unpredictable weather patterns with nights and days more scrambled than your average breakfast egg. You’ll be dizzy from lack of sleep. You’ll worry over each and every sniff/ breath/ nappy/feed. You’ll marvel over tiny fingers and tiny toes. You’ll feel skin softer than anything you’ve ever experienced. Your heart will stop and it will beat faster and it’ll get squeezed right out of your chest.


So here are my thoughts on what you should do before D Day:

1. SLEEP. Anywhere, anytime, for as long as you want to. YOU WILL NEVER IN YOUR LIFETIME SLEEP LIKE THIS AGAIN. Or at least not until you’re senile and being looked after by nurses. Now there’s something to look forward to…

2. READ. A whole book. With your feet up and a cup of tea in your hand. YOU WILL NEVER READ LIKE THIS AGAIN.

3. BATH. A loooooooooooooong one. YOU WILL NEVER BATH LIKE THIS AGAIN.

4. EAT. Slowly. Appreciate every bite. Really chew and enjoy. YOU WILL NEVER EAT THIS SLOWLY AGAIN.

5. LOOK AT THE FATHER-OF-THE-CRIME. Appreciate him. Tell him you love him and only him. Remember why you made this baby. YOU WON’T BE HAVING LINGERING ROMANTIC MOMENTS for a very loooooooong time. Also, talk. Talk now and forever hold your peace. Talk before a tiny little man takes over both of your hearts like a tornado….

Yes, you’ve read all the books and the magazines and you’ve googled yourself dizzy.

But here’s the thing :

NOTHING can prepare you for the real thing.

It’s all moment-by moment really.

So be prepared to be unprepared.

Be prepared for a change of plan.

Be brave. Be still. Breathe. Believe.

I’ll be there, day or night. Just pick up the phone.

If I could do it, you most certainly can. And hey, my two are both clean and fed and  fast asleep in their own  beds….just  a pity their father has fallen asleep in the bed next to his son never to wake again till sunrise tomorrow morning. No romance happening then.

Can’t have it all, now can you?


“WILDLY PREGNANT” : The 2011 Collection On Canvas

Ever heard of “Pregnant Art“?  No? Quite frankly neither have I. But it’s the term that jumps to mind when I think of the wild creative frenzy that hit me the moment I discovered  I was pregnant with my daughter this year. Funnily enough , I was drawn to pink and hearts even before I knew that I was expecting a girl…also orange and red…

Am I an artist? Of course not.

Did pregnancy make me feel like one? DEFINITELY!

I painted right through morning all day  sickness, high blood pressure, haemrhoids, headaches………..the juices just kept on flowing……

Here it is….the 2011 Wildly Pregnant Art Collection :  ( stop giggling, Art Teacher Gr 9 )





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