CINDERELLA TRIPPIN'

….let there be shopping….

Archive for the tag “Shopping”

DADDY MUST HAVE MARRIED YOU IN THE DARK


 

Everybody knows I’m not the world’s best waker-upper. It takes a good few Nescafe ultrastrongs to get me to a semi-conscious state in the mornings. And even then I’m inclined to communicate in grunts and uh-uh’s.

I wake up with bad hair and a bad attitude. Usually I manage to improve on both before 9h00.

Usually.

On my non-working days things can remain shaky in the dress up and make up department.

I slip easily into a pair of sloppy track suit pants and an oversized T-shirt. The hair gets a quick spritz of water and a fast blow with the hair dryer and the face stayes bare. No one who is anyone is going to see me, right?

Enter 4 year old snarky male-in-the-making.

“Mommy, I’m going with Daddy today. ”  ( suits me fine, my boy. You go farm with your father. )

But he is not done.

“Mommy, you don’t look smart today. Did Daddy marry you in the dark? ”

……….where in the world did he get THAT from??????

I shudder to think.

His grandmother up in heaven telling him to tell his mother to get her @#*&*%  in gear?

Mmmmm……………she always WAS super conscious of looks and had a way of checking for weight gain with the flick of an eye…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

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SHEEP THRILLS


 

 

Being a farmer’s wife doesn’t come naturally to me.

What comes to me naturally is shopping for GUESS, LANCOME, DIOR, CLARINS and LA PRAIRIE. ( no kitchen stuff )

THIERRY MUGLER, ISSEY MIYAKI and POLO. ( no kitchen stuff )

Also EXCLUSIVE BOOKS, WOOLWORTHS and THE BODY SHOP. ( no kitchen stuff )

In short : sunglasses, jewelry, state-of-the-new-face skin care, figure-transforming clothing, home-enhancing cushions and throws and candles and smelly fragrance sticks. ( no kitchen stuff )

Arty earrings, homeopathic,  eco-friendly tranquilizing aides ( read purest lavender and chamomile ) and expensive holidays for me, the farmer , our children and their nanny. I dream of the day I book 2 rooms and a flight for 5 to the Wild Coast Sun. As if that’s ever going to happen. But still. ( no kitchen stuff)

There is a definite theme coming through here.

Did you pick it up too?

NO . KITCHEN. STUFF.

Now you  have to keep up with my train of thought here.

Let’s jump from NO. KITCHEN. STUFF. straight to the local Co-op.

The local Co-op is a farmer’s services hardware – type store in every small town close to a farming community. They stock all a farmer will ever need in his farming career. Feeds, bricks and poles. Paint, soil and injections. Leather boots and string. Toiletpaper and cheap sweets.

The local Co-op is a dusty place smelling of sheep.

It is a FUGLY place, believe me. And it, too, does not come naturally to me.

The fact that it doesn’t matters sweet-blue-haydiddle.

Because it is my job as the farmers’ wife to fetch stuff from the Co-op. Every single time I go to town.

It should be written in a farming couples’ marriage contract: THIS HERE WIFE SHALL VISIT THE LOCAL CO-OP 5 MILLION TIMES DURING HER LIFETIME AS THIS FARMER’S WIFE.

And more:

– She shall accept that the service will be slow.

– She shall accept that she will have to sign 3 different coloured forms for every purchase. Green, yellow and blue.

– She shall accept that she will meet other farmers at the Co-op,  dressed in khaki shirts and shorts of a doubtful colour,  who she will have to make small talk with. Unless she wants to be known as “that snooty wife of so-and-so ” .

– She shall accept that she will want to take a bath afterwards to get rid of the sheepy smell.

Yes, I know I’m a highly privileged person living in the wild outdoors with my rough-rider husband.

I know the Wild Coast Sun Hotel dream is extravagant to the extreme.

I know having a childminding nanny ( at times ) is heaven.

I know all of these things.

But I will remain a non-cooking frustrated shopaholic wishing for a mall.

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE 

 MAY THE  DIOR  FIND YOU

Click to show "sheep fashion" result 5

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